Anxiety and everything that comes with it

Hey guys. Today i’ll like talk to You about anxiety.

Anxiety „is an emotion characterized by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behaviour such as pacing back and forth, somatic complaints, and rumination. It is the subjectively unpleasant feelings of dread over anticipated events, such as the feeling of imminent death. Anxiety is not the same as fear, which is a response to a real or perceived immediate threat,whereas anxiety is the expectation of future threat. Anxiety is a feeling of uneasiness and worry, usually generalized and unfocused as an overreaction to a situation that is only subjectively seen as menacing.It is often accompanied by muscular tension,restlessness, fatigue and problems in concentration. Anxiety can be appropriate, but when experienced regularly the individual may suffer from an anxiety disorder.”

   A lot of us are dealing with anxiety and maybe some of you do not  even know that . I found out recently that i’m sufering from anxiety too. I didn’t realize earlier that all the mixed emotions and panic I always felt were in fact aNxiety. I have never had accentuated symptoms such as panic attacks or physical harm. But, even if it’s a slight form of anxiety , it has controled my life, made me avoid changes, oportunities, situations where I had never been put before, and even avoid going out with my friends.

    In all these years ( i’m 20 now) I have developed „new abilities” such as lying to my friends about the the real reasons why I started slowly, slowly to distance myself from them, not to go out with them, to lie about the reasons why I did not make certain decisions, I did not accept certain offers, I started to avoid telling my opinions in public believing that they are not important, I started avoiding dating because I did not think I deserved to receive love from a boy or not even from my friends. I started to blame those around me because it was easier to see them as guilty than to recognize what I feel and how bad I did myself. so slowly, I began to remove all the people beside me. fortunately I have friends who have not given up so easily to me, and have seen beyond my negative behavior.

    The hardest part was to face the perfectionism that marked my whole life.  as a child I wanted to be the best, to do everything right the first time, I could not conceive that there must be a journey of initiation through which you learn to do the things perfectly. and if something of what I was doing or what I wanted was not perfect, then that thing loses its significance in front of me. I have the impression that I can win or lose, but nothing in between. I wanted everything or nothing. Perfectionism is a part of the „symptoms” of anxiety.

Perfectionism in psychology, is a personality trait characterized by a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting high performance standards, accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.

    For example in high school, I attended the psychology Olympics for three years in a row. In the first two years I won the 3rd prize, respectively the 2nd prize. But I was not happy. Why? Because I desperately wanted to be the best. I  criticized myself for all the things I did not, for the time I lost, for the books I did not read, and forgot all the effort I made. I was just seeing the bad side. In the third year (and the last year of high school) I fulfilled my wish and I won the 1st prize. I was happy for a short time, then I started to think I did not deserve it, someone gave it to me for free, that maybe there were people who deserved more than I did. and there is no need to say how bad this thought has done to me.

    In my first year of college, I did something similar to an exam I thought I would not take, but which I took, with the grades of all the exams I gave, of which I was disappointed for a good time in the summer, but after realizing that I, unlike many of my colleagues, I took all MY exams. I remembered how much I worked for each exam, as I learned, as long as I dedicated to my desires and goals, and that I did everything I knew and everything I could to be where I am now. I also know that I am exactly where I should be and that every thing that happened to me happened for a reason.

    I have learned to accept my obsessive thoughts about success, and I’m still trying to get used to the idea that I do not have to be perfect to be happy. I understood that everything that was in my life was meant to teach me to be more indulgent to me.

    I read many personal development books that opened my eyes and made me think outside the box. I strongly recommend the books by Dr. Alice Boyes and the blog „Psychology Today”, this helped me to realize that I suffer from anxiety and how to accept it.

    If you found yourself in these lines and think you might have aNxiety, I want to tell you first that it is not a disease. It’s not a shame to have anxiety, it’s not bad. You will not be judged if you acknowledge this and you will certainly not be marginalized. Many of us are trying to create a perfect image and forget to express our true feelings believing that they are wrong.

    If you want to start monitoring your feelings and thoughts, I recommend that you start writing in a diary everything you have in mind. Do not be afraid to get that in words, this thing can make you feel relieved. Be sure to keep it in a place where no one has access to it, so you can protect your privacy or start an electronic diary.

    I will continue to post articles about anxiety and ways to deal with it, learn to accept and quit or diminish your desire to be perfect. 

    I hope you liked the article today and I gave you a boost to inform you more about anxiety.

    If you know someone who has these feelings, but who finds it hard to recognize that, be with him, help him and give him all your love. Believe me, that will make a difference.

XOXO. Wazz.


More than just one „GREAT LOVE”

  As a child I always dreamed about that one great love, meeting my soul mate, marry my soul mate actually, having a great relationship, without drama and complications. But, becoming a teenager i found out that love isn’t always that simple, that a relationship requires sacrifices sometime, that it takes two of us to make it last, and the most important thing i found out is that WE DON’T HAVE JUST ONE GREAT LOVE.

      Yeah, yeah, i know, who the hell i think i am to say that. But it’s true. And believe me it took me a very very long time to say that. But why we should have just one great love?  Maybe we are designed to have 2 or 3 or maybe more. That’s fine.

     That soul mate we all wait to come in our live and make we happy that it’s based on our beliefs and principles,  projections and desires,  experiences and feelings. When we were young we imagine ourselves with a prince  arrived on a white horse, ready to take us to his castle and make us princesses. This that imagine has  become our reality? Hardly to tell that!

     Why? Because when we get older we actually draw up a mental list with all the qualities, skills, character, temperament that we want the person next to us to have. And that’s the person we attract. But in order to meet this great person we have to become that someone who deserves being near his „soul mate”, or as i like it to say „ that something better”.

      Becomeing „ that something better”  it’s not the simplest thing you’ll ever do, you’ll meet people who will change you, you’ll fall in love with wonderful people that you’ll consider „great loves”, maybe you will think that you have already met your soul mate, that you have turned overnight, that all your dark parts have dimmed. But, I’m sorry to be the one who gives you the news, no part of you has disappeared, just that you have learned how to love and accept them.

    During the journey you may have more than one relationship, so I say we do not have just one „great love”, but at the end, when you mature, when you will understand the sacrifices that a happy relationship requires,  when you make peace with you, with your past, with all your good or bad parts, when you became „that something better”,  then you will meet that love that will fully fulfill you, your soul mate, the person you feel you’ve been waiting for all your life.

    And guess what?  you will ,finally, be happy! You will know how to appreciate what you have, you will know how to express your feelings, you will know  to say „I love you” only when you really feel it, you will appreciate the meaning of the words „thank you” and „I’m sorry,” you will give up the pride in front of him, because in the past you did not do all this things and you lost beautiful people, whom you loved and loved you in turn.

  You will look behind and you will understand why past relationships have not gone, you will have the power to forgive all that was and to be grateful to the people who helped you become „the something better”.

    You will know that all your love stories have been „GREAT LOVES” because they meant so much to you, but you will understand that only „YOUR SOUL MATE” is here to stay forever.

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