Hey guys. Today i’ll like talk to You about anxiety.
Anxiety „is an emotion characterized by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behaviour such as pacing back and forth, somatic complaints, and rumination. It is the subjectively unpleasant feelings of dread over anticipated events, such as the feeling of imminent death. Anxiety is not the same as fear, which is a response to a real or perceived immediate threat,whereas anxiety is the expectation of future threat. Anxiety is a feeling of uneasiness and worry, usually generalized and unfocused as an overreaction to a situation that is only subjectively seen as menacing.It is often accompanied by muscular tension,restlessness, fatigue and problems in concentration. Anxiety can be appropriate, but when experienced regularly the individual may suffer from an anxiety disorder.”
A lot of us are dealing with anxiety and maybe some of you do not even know that . I found out recently that i’m sufering from anxiety too. I didn’t realize earlier that all the mixed emotions and panic I always felt were in fact aNxiety. I have never had accentuated symptoms such as panic attacks or physical harm. But, even if it’s a slight form of anxiety , it has controled my life, made me avoid changes, oportunities, situations where I had never been put before, and even avoid going out with my friends.
In all these years ( i’m 20 now) I have developed „new abilities” such as lying to my friends about the the real reasons why I started slowly, slowly to distance myself from them, not to go out with them, to lie about the reasons why I did not make certain decisions, I did not accept certain offers, I started to avoid telling my opinions in public believing that they are not important, I started avoiding dating because I did not think I deserved to receive love from a boy or not even from my friends. I started to blame those around me because it was easier to see them as guilty than to recognize what I feel and how bad I did myself. so slowly, I began to remove all the people beside me. fortunately I have friends who have not given up so easily to me, and have seen beyond my negative behavior.
The hardest part was to face the perfectionism that marked my whole life. as a child I wanted to be the best, to do everything right the first time, I could not conceive that there must be a journey of initiation through which you learn to do the things perfectly. and if something of what I was doing or what I wanted was not perfect, then that thing loses its significance in front of me. I have the impression that I can win or lose, but nothing in between. I wanted everything or nothing. Perfectionism is a part of the „symptoms” of anxiety.
Perfectionism in psychology, is a personality trait characterized by a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting high performance standards, accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.
For example in high school, I attended the psychology Olympics for three years in a row. In the first two years I won the 3rd prize, respectively the 2nd prize. But I was not happy. Why? Because I desperately wanted to be the best. I criticized myself for all the things I did not, for the time I lost, for the books I did not read, and forgot all the effort I made. I was just seeing the bad side. In the third year (and the last year of high school) I fulfilled my wish and I won the 1st prize. I was happy for a short time, then I started to think I did not deserve it, someone gave it to me for free, that maybe there were people who deserved more than I did. and there is no need to say how bad this thought has done to me.
In my first year of college, I did something similar to an exam I thought I would not take, but which I took, with the grades of all the exams I gave, of which I was disappointed for a good time in the summer, but after realizing that I, unlike many of my colleagues, I took all MY exams. I remembered how much I worked for each exam, as I learned, as long as I dedicated to my desires and goals, and that I did everything I knew and everything I could to be where I am now. I also know that I am exactly where I should be and that every thing that happened to me happened for a reason.
I have learned to accept my obsessive thoughts about success, and I’m still trying to get used to the idea that I do not have to be perfect to be happy. I understood that everything that was in my life was meant to teach me to be more indulgent to me.
I read many personal development books that opened my eyes and made me think outside the box. I strongly recommend the books by Dr. Alice Boyes and the blog „Psychology Today”, this helped me to realize that I suffer from anxiety and how to accept it.
If you found yourself in these lines and think you might have aNxiety, I want to tell you first that it is not a disease. It’s not a shame to have anxiety, it’s not bad. You will not be judged if you acknowledge this and you will certainly not be marginalized. Many of us are trying to create a perfect image and forget to express our true feelings believing that they are wrong.
If you want to start monitoring your feelings and thoughts, I recommend that you start writing in a diary everything you have in mind. Do not be afraid to get that in words, this thing can make you feel relieved. Be sure to keep it in a place where no one has access to it, so you can protect your privacy or start an electronic diary.
I will continue to post articles about anxiety and ways to deal with it, learn to accept and quit or diminish your desire to be perfect.
I hope you liked the article today and I gave you a boost to inform you more about anxiety.
If you know someone who has these feelings, but who finds it hard to recognize that, be with him, help him and give him all your love. Believe me, that will make a difference.